The Last Exchange
by Rasenganorshine
Summary: **repost of an old story** Ed's thoughts as he prepares for one last transmutation. Written for the end of the original anime. Originally posted in 2008.


**A/N:** Oh geez, I forgot about this one. Please note that **this is an unedited repost of an old story,** for archival purposes.

 **Originally published:** 02-13-08, Updated: 02-13-08

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 _WARNING: Major spoilers! This is based off of the final chapters of the original FMA anime._ _**If you haven't watched the entire series, then don't read this fic!**_

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 **-:- The Last Exchange -:-**

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I'm alone in the middle of the circle.

I trace the last lines of the pentagram on my right arm, shivering a little at the sensation of my finger running across the warm flesh. It's too cold to be without a shirt in this dark, dead underworld city; goosebumps prickle up my arms—both arms, both flesh. I can barely believe that I'm whole again.

Al, you did that for me.

You've always thought of me before yourself, haven't you? You gave up so much…but this is one sacrifice I won't let you make.

I saw you die before, little brother. That time, I was terrified-desperate. The overwhelming knowledge from the gate still pounded freshly through my brain, and I snatched your soul from the abyss, paying the passage gladly. But it wasn't enough; in the end I sealed you to a fate worse than losing a few pounds of flesh.

My eyes flick over the arcing lines and sharp, precise angles; everything is just as I remember from the laboratory. All it needs is an alchemist's touch…and the exchange. I kneel and touch my fingers to the bloodstains on the floor—my blood. Where I died. A small, bitter smile tugs at my lips.

Five years ago, death was a vast and horrific thing. We defied it that stormy night in Risembool, though then we barely understood the enormity of what we faced...of what we did. We're still paying the price for that arrogance. I'm beginning to realize it, Al; it will never be over until the exchange is complete. Until death is satisfied.

I could have saved you then. I knew, even then, what it would take. But I was so afraid…death was a void I could not fathom. I would not let you fall, yet I could not give the full price required. So I condemned you to life without flesh, without touch, without all the things I clung to. I was selfish, Al.

Now I've seen death from either side. I've given it. I've received it. I've seen it forced upon others. I've seen men do everything to avoid it.

Death is terror.

But…death is not so terrible. There are things worse than death; things better than life.

Moving quickly now, I mark my chest, my forehead, my left arm. The blood is cold, and gleams wetly in the faint light of the waiting transmutation circle.

I thought we could gain without giving.

I was a fool.

But now…I know the truth.

Equivalent exchange was never alchemical ingredients or a mystical stone—the homonuculi are proof enough of that. We alchemists should have known from the beginning. But no one grasped it; no one wanted to. For to gain all, you must lose all. It's that simple.

Life for life; a soul for a soul. The only way to resurrect the dead.

I'm ready, Al. This time I'll give everything for you. This body you restored. This life. This heart.

This soul.

My feet pad softly on the stone as I step into the center of the circle; no faint clang of automail follows me, no metal sole scrapes the stone. You gave me two good legs; I can walk forward. I bring my hands together in a resounding clap that echoes into the great, empty darkness—white light claims the void and turns it into sheer radiance.

Can you see it?

It's so beautiful in the end.

Al...

 _"Al…" the whispered word hangs like a spell in the air as the light fades away._

 _For a long time there is nothing at all, not even a breath of wind in the dead night of the underground city. The musty ground cools as the runes fade; a chill creeps in and reigns over the dead, black world._

 _Then…_

 _Someone stirs, warm breath invading the cold and the dark._

 _"Brother?"_


End file.
